Crap once a year!!!

TO THE BATHROOM JUST ONCE A YEAR!

You can with this new pill

By Nick Jeffreys (Weekly World News)

RESEARCHERS are seeking
FDA approval of a new pill that
would mean only one trip to the
bathroom per year.

"We've finally perfected the
Crapper Capsule," says Dr. Colon
Levinson of Australia's Rectum And
Sphincter Center.

"We named it for my hero
Thomas Crapper who invented the
toilet in 1861."

The human body takes in food and
breaks it down in the digestive system.

Nutritional substances are used
as fuel and everything else is eliminated
as fecal matter and urine.

"Most people have one bowel
movement each morning after the
newspaper is delivered," says
Levinson. "A good B.M. can be satisfying,
but having to pee several
times a day can be a nuisance. I
always have to urinate when I'm in
the car or at an important meeting
or in the movie theater. I hate that,
and my colleagues agree. That's why
we decided to do something
about it."

The Crapper Capsule compresses
waste molecules like a
biological trash compactor,
explains Levinson. Once every 365
days, the individual taking the medication
will visit the rest room
and produce a
square block.

"It'll hurt
coming out,"
admits the scientist,
"but after all,
it's just once a year."